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Universal Pictures/Knocked Up

6 Surefire Ways Men Blow A First Date

  
chuck henderson
Mar. 29, 2016
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First dates are easy to screw up, but if you’re finding a distinct lack of second dates in your life, maybe it’s time to look at your technique. Here are a few sure-fire ways to blow a date.

1. Texting.

Nothing says “I don’t give a shit about you or anything you’re saying” better than staring down at your phone, thumbs darting around all over the touch screen. Your asshole friends can wait a couple hours. Pay attention to your goddamn date. One time, I was on a coffee date with a girl who was texting every five minutes. After the third time, I said “Excuse me,” then got up and left and never came back. She’s still sitting there, texting away for all I know. She probably hasn’t even noticed I’m gone.

2. Answering your phone.

This is really an extension of number 1, but some of you guys need everything all spelled out for you nice and clear. Do not answer your phone. Don’t even look at it when it makes a noise and demand the same thing from her. You have to make each other feel like you’re important. You get that, right?

3. Not paying.

It’s annoying when girls don’t offer to pay, but this is a part of women’s liberation that’s been specifically omitted from the agenda. Pay for dinner, you cheap bastard. But if she doesn’t offer, don’t ask her out again.

4. Talking about your ex.

Do you like it when a girl lists the faults of the last guy she dated? No? Well, she doesn’t like it, either. It’s okay if you have a funny story that involves an ex, but bitching and moaning about her is not a good way to ingratiate yourself into a new girl’s affections.

5. Bragging.

No one cares how much money you make, what kind of car you drive or how great your softball team is doing. Shut the fuck up. At least pretend to be humble. Humility is way more attractive to girls. You want her to compliment you, and there’s no need for that if you keep complimenting yourself.

6. Getting there late.

This one is mind-boggling. We all get stuck in traffic from time to time, and if that happens, make sure you call or text to apologize and say you’re on your way. But acting like her time isn’t important to you is a great way to start off in a hole. Besides, showing up first puts you in the power position. So there you have it. It all seems pretty obvious, but there are a lot of dumb-asses out there who do everything on this list. If you avoid all these red flags and still can’t land a second date, well, you probably need more help than I can give you.

  
chuck henderson
Mar. 29, 2016

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