Your Jewish mother spent your entire young adulthood telling you how big the ring from your Jewish fiancé had to be, or what kind of parents your girlfriend was supposed to have. Most of this stereotyping “wisdom” likely fell on deaf ears, but the bits and pieces that made it through might be worth more than you originally thought. Here are some reasons why all her nagging had a point about the perfect girl or guy…
1. Other Jews can be pretty decent partners.
If only for the matching and usually top-notch sense of humor. Oftentimes, it’s just easier for one Jew to “get” another — perhaps because of their neurotic upbringings. It’s hard to understand that if you weren’t exposed to it constantly since the beginning of your time on earth.
2. The mysterious ‘bad boy’ and the really capricious ‘crazy girl’ are really just assholes.
Mom says he’s a low-life and she’s just playing games with you — she’s not lying. However fun and exciting they may seem to be, these prototypes generally tend to be selfish pricks.
3. People who are mean to you don’t really love you.
It’s true — no matter how much he or she apologizes after putting you down in front of your friends again, they still did it in the first place, which is what counts.
4. Dating nerds is always worth it.
Not only will a nerd be more appreciative of you giving them the time of day, they’ll also have a lot of fascinating things to talk about — nerds have interests. After all, it’s pretty much what defines them.
5. If they disrespect your religion, they’re disrespecting you.
If the person you’re dating is a hardcore atheist, that’s cool. If they call you a “sheep” and an “idiot” for being “culturally Jewish,” that’s not.
6. Ambition is actually a good quality in a dating partner.
It’s not necessarily an overbearing, buzz kill kind of quality. People who are ambitious have passion. They won’t be boring, and they’ll always know what to do on a Saturday night (in addition to the whole good job and income thing).
7. It might be best not to date someone who can drink you under the table.
Rather than marvel at the guy or women who can finish a pitcher in a matter of seconds, you’d do best to see that as a bit of a red flag. Alcoholics are addicts, and addicts are difficult to deal with. Also, people who are frequently drunk are frequently unpredictable, and not always in a fun, spontaneous, “let’s stay up ‘til sunrise” kind of way.
8. A degree from a top quality college actually does go a long way.
Towards not only a steady, well-paying job, but also a halfway decent personality in some cases … In other cases, you’re getting a soulless Cornell frat boy, so still be wary.
9. You’ll be thankful for his or her ‘good family.’
Do you really want to put up with whatever a “bad family” might entail (you’d assume a bunch of assholes with that classification)? If someone’s parents have a bad personality, that says a decent amount about the person … though what it could be saying is the person distanced themselves and grew stronger and more grounded as a result.
10. Where he or she lives will matter to you.
You might be moving in with this person, so if they live in Jersey and you work every day in Brooklyn, you may want to think about a more convenient dating partner if neither of you are thinking of moving your homes or jobs. Love doesn’t conquer a commute.
11. Cooking is of utmost importance.
At least a love of food is — most Jews have it, and they can’t live without it.
12. There is always something wrong with the establishment you’re eating in.
Do you really want to date someone who won’t make it known to the waiter if the restaurant is too hot or they served you the wrong food, as any good Jew will? Would you rather suffer in silence?
13. Family values actually do mean something good.
People who love kids and want to make an amazing home with them are not to be mocked, after all.
14. You might just find yourself getting nostalgic for your Jewish roots as you get older and don’t have to go to temple anymore.
When you were a kid and had to go to temple, that sucked. As an adult, you might find yourself nostalgic for old traditions and ceremonies, so it could be nice to have someone who might encourage you to dip your feet back in (whether they’re Jewish or not themselves, as long as they’re interested enough to give it a go once in a blue moon … or less frequently than that).
15. If you think you want to marry someone, you don’t want to wait forever until they propose/are ready.
Jewish parents can be all about the ring. If you’re in that mindset, it’ll be very frustrating to date someone who isn’t.
16. Intuition is actually a thing Jewish mothers are known for.
Remember how she could always find the missing sock from the elusive favorite pair in your sock drawer? She knew where it was because Jewish mothers just know things. Give her a chance to use her intuition on something truly important, for a change (now that you’re an adult, at least).