Last time I relapsed on meth I wrote this,

I Been sober since.

I smoked the last 7 months down the drain cause i Felt isolated in my brain
Cuz all i feel inside is pain.  wondering if im going insane.
I stay high cuz im sick of feeling low.
People say they care but they never seem to be there.
So i gave into sin and i let this devil in me win.
but ill try again cause trying is better than never trying at all.
i ain't no NF but i pormise ill keep it real.
I had enough of these feelings thst can kill
Can't you see?
i'll never be who you want me to be.
Can't you see?
Im not even the person that i wanna be.
Can't you see?
I no longer know what i can believe.
Can't you see?
I wanna come home to kids that i can see.
Cant you see?
I wanna be the father that i know i can be.
But instead im an addict cuz my life  was so dramatic
Cause i never learned to grieve.
And i'm afraid to love  cuz if I do they'll always leave.
can anyone relate to me? Show of hands, Or is it just me...?
my haters wanna break me but they don't know that demons made me.
And the Family that I once had is dead to me.
As i turned into somone i didnt wanna be
Its weird when the only feeling ya feel is cold.
If i had a soul im afraid mine has been sold.
As I try my best to hide how I'm a mess
Cuz the old me i know i miss. 
Before drugs made him vanish.
So many issues in my head i don't know which ones to address?
Like how i can fix my problems if i get a new address.
But i cant cause im dirt poor.
Living with holes in my floor.
Snow drifting through my door.
Hoping soon i'll find a job and get  hired 
But Every job i Get I get fired.
And at this rate ill never retire.
Dreaming someday that i'll make it far 
but how can i, i don't even have a car.
and all i do is pick at my old scars.
Hoping that ill find the love i lost inside a bar.
Or at least some sex cause i don't know what to do next.
Popping Xanax to ignore the fact i miss my ex.
I give it my best but even at my best i feel like a pest.
This is how i feel everyday trapped in my home.
See this is what goes on in my dome and its a mess.
i got nothing left to confess.
Besides the me i use to be i miss.
Can't you see
Im the pain inside that hurts really deep.
Can't you see
I'm the truth not many wanna speak.
Can't you see
i stay strong when inside all i feel is weak.
Can't you see
My dreams haunt me to the point i dont wanna sleep.
Can't you see?
I'm a life i no longer wanna keep.
Can't you see?
I don't know how much more i wanna see.