People might say that if you have cold feet before your wedding, it’s because the match isn’t right, but that isn’t always true. Many people — both men and women — have cold feet until the moment their weddings start, but still know their future spouse was the right person for them. Having cold feet doesn’t mean you’re regretting your relationship or falling out of love — it just means you’re nervous about your wedding, and that’s normal! Check out these tips and see if you can melt your cold feet and enjoy your big day.

1. Imagine being without your partner.

When you try to picture your life without your partner, can you do it? Do you like how your life looks without them? Know that getting married is just taking your commitment to another level, ensuring that you’ll stay together, and let that thought make you feel safe in your love.

2. Try to keep your stress levels low.

Whether you’re planning a big blowout wedding or just eloping, there’s still a lot to stress about, plan-wise. Any time you’re making plans, there are things that can fall through. It’s stressful for anyone! But feeling stressed, especially if you feel like your partner isn’t helping out enough, will push your relationship into a bad place. Don’t let planning your special day ruin things — focus on why you’re getting married, not the day itself.

3. Don’t expect it to be perfect.

This goes for both your big day and your marriage! There will be a few things during your big day that won’t go as planned — accept that from the beginning and stress a lot less! The same goes for your marriage. Things can be rough: you’re learning to live with someone new and different from you; you have this pressure to make it perfect because he’s the one; you’re going through life together, and that involves a lot of ups and downs regardless of who’s by your side. If you’re a little more laid back about it all, then you won’t pressure yourself to reach unreasonable expectations.